Debugging and monitoring programs are integral to engineering and deploying software. Dynamic analyses monitor applications through source code or IR injection, machine code or bytecode rewriting, virtual machine APIs, or direct hardware support. While these techniques are viable within their respective domains, common tooling across techniques is rare, leading to fragmentation of skills, duplicated efforts, and inconsistent feature support. We address this problem in the WebAssembly ecosystem with Whamm, a declarative instrumentation DSL for WebAssembly that abstracts above the instrumentation strategy, leveraging bytecode rewriting and engine support as available. Whamm solves three problems: 1) tooling fragmentation, 2) prohibitive instrumentation overhead of general-purpose frameworks, and 3) tedium of tailoring low-level high-performance mechanisms. Whamm provides fully-programmable instrumentation with declarative match rules, static and dynamic predication, automatic state reporting, and user library support, achieving high performance through compiler and engine optimizations. We also present an engine API inspired by Whamm which allows instrumentation to be provided to a Wasm engine as Wasm code, reusing existing engine optimizations and unlocking new ones, most notably intrinsification, to minimize overhead. A key insight of our work is that explicitly requesting program state in match rules, rather than reflection, enables the engine to efficiently bundle arguments and even inline compiled probe logic. Whamm streamlines the tooling effort, as its bytecode-rewriting target can run instrumented programs everywhere, lowering fragmentation and advancing the state of the art for engine support. We evaluate Whamm with case studies of non-trivial monitors and show it is expressive, powerful, and efficient.